Wondering, Why do I feel so up and down? Discover the emotional roller-coaster of grief and how to manage these feelings.
| Grief doesn’t follow a straight path | People sometimes refer to stages of grief, but grief isn’t something you begin one day, move through step-by-step, and come out from unchanged. Grief is dynamic and changeable. This can feel chaotic, but both the ups and downs are part of grief. |
| Learning to live with loss | Most people find that they don’t get over the loss but they slowly learn to live with the loss. It is common for the way you cope with grief to change. |
| The ups and downs of grief | You may switch between feelings of intense grief and activities that distract you from your grief. You may move between focusing on the loss (crying, missing the person, feeling pain) and moving forward (returning to activities, learning new skills, forming new relationships). |
| A roller-coaster of emotions | This process often happens repeatedly, like a cycle. The experience is often described as being on a roller-coaster or a series of waves. |
→ READ MORE: Will it always be this hard?
At times the sadness and pain I feel is all consuming and hard to bear, while at other times these feelings are just in the background of my day-to-day activities.
Anne
Podcast: Coping with Grief
Listen to more episodes from our podcast for people affected by cancer
More resources
A/Prof Lisa Beatty, Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology and Consulting Clinical Psychologist, Flinders University Institute of Mental Health and Wellbeing, SA; Sandra Anderson, Consumer; Dr Alexandra Clinch, Palliative Medicine Specialist and Deputy Director, Palliative Care, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre and Royal Melbourne Hospital, VIC; Christopher Hall, Chief Executive Officer, Grief Australia; Nathan MacArthur, Specialist Grief Counsellor and Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, Sydney Grief Counselling Services, NSW; Linda Magann, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Palliative Care, St George Hospital, NSW; Palliative Care Australia; Richard Upton, Consumer; Lesley Woods, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council WA.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
