Wherever someone chooses to die, family and friends can help in the final stages. If you are providing care at home, ask the palliative or health care team how you can help. In a palliative care unit, hospital or residential aged care facility, ask the staff how you can be involved.
 | Offer comfortApply lip balm and keep the mouth moist with ice cubes or swabs. Use a vaporiser in the room to help with breathing. Put incontinence sheets or pads under the bedsheets. Keep the person warm with a blanket and use cushions so they are comfortable. Help them change positions often. A nurse or occupational therapist can show you suitable positions. |
 | Be a gentle presenceSit with the person and talk or hold their hand. Often just being there is that is needed so that they don’t feel alone. Gently massage their hands or feet with a non-alcohol-based lotion. Speak gently, and occasionally remind the person of the time, place and who is with them. Don’t force-feed them even though you may be distressed by their loss of interest in eating. |
 | Create a calm atmosphereUse soft lighting. Have their favourite music playing in the background to create a gentle and peaceful atmosphere. Quietly read a favourite poem, passage from a book, or spiritual or religious text. |
Listen to our podcast on Caring for Someone with Advanced Cancer or the podcast below.
Podcast: Caring for Someone in Their Last Months
Listen to more episodes of our podcast for people affected by advanced cancer
More resources
Prof Jane Phillips, Head, School of Nursing and Professor, Centre for Healthcare Transformation, Queensland University of Technology and Emerita Professor Palliative Nursing, University of Technology Sydney, NSW; Prof Meera Agar, Palliative Care Physician, Professor of Palliative Medicine, University of Technology Sydney, IMPACCT, Sydney, NSW; Sandra Anderson, Consumer; A/Prof Megan Best, The University of Notre Dame Australia and The University of Sydney, NSW; Prof Lauren Breen, Psychologist and Discipline Lead, Psychology, Curtin University, WA; David Dawes, Manager, Spiritual Care Department, Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, VIC; Rob Ferguson, Consumer; Gabrielle Gawne-Kelnar, Counsellor, Psychotherapist and Social Worker, One Life Counselling & Psychotherapy, NSW; Justine Hatton, Senior Social Worker, Southern Adelaide Palliative Services, Flinders Medical Centre, SA; Caitlin MacDonagh, Clinical Nurse Consultant, Palliative Care, Royal North Shore Hospital, Northern Sydney Local Health District, NSW; McCabe Centre for Law and Cancer; Palliative Care Australia; Belinda Reinhold, Acting Lead Palliative Care, Cancer Council QLD; Xanthe Sansome, National Program Director, Advance Care Planning Australia; Kirsty Trebilcock, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council SA.
View the Cancer Council NSW editorial policy.
Need to talk?
Support services
Support for carers
Speak to a health professional or to someone who has been there, or find a support group or forum
Cancer Council Online Community
A community forum – a safe place to share stories, get tips and connect with people who understand
Cancer information
Advanced cancer
Information for all stages of advanced cancer, from the initial diagnosis to palliative care and grief
Information for carers
Information for family and friends providing care to someone at any stage of cancer