Telling children

When you are diagnosed with cancer, one of your concerns might be how to tell any young people in your life. Talking to young kids and teenagers about cancer can feel difficult and overwhelming.

Managing anxiety and protecting kids

Parents and other adults can feel overcome by their own anxiety and fears, and their first impulse may be to protect children from feeling these same strong emotions. Some parents avoid telling their children about the cancer. Others wait until treatment starts and side effects, such as hair loss or nausea, are noticeable. Most children sense that something is wrong and may imagine the worst. They may also feel angry and confused if they find out from someone else.

Why it’s important to talk

Research shows that when someone close is diagnosed with cancer, children usually cope better if they are told about it, in a way that suits their age and stage of development. With planning, practice and support from family or health professionals, most parents and other adults are able to talk to kids about cancer. If you have children, your treatment team can set up an appointment just for them to ask questions.

No right way to talk about cancer

Try not to pressure yourself – there is no “perfect” way to tell children, and the way children react to your diagnosis and treatment will vary. The important thing is to have open communication over time so there are lots of opportunities to talk.

Older children may be worried about burdening you with how they are feeling, so make sure they have a trusted person outside their immediate family circle who they can talk to about the situation.

For more on this, see Talking to kids about cancer, Cancer in the school community and listen to the podcast below.

→ READ MORE: Life after treatment

Podcast: Explaining Cancer to Kids

Listen to more episodes from our podcast for people affected by cancer