Here are some suggestions of things you shouldn’t say, and things that might be helpful for the person to hear.
What not to say
| “Everything is going to be all right.” |
| “I know exactly how you feel.” |
| “I can imagine how you feel.” |
| “Don’t worry about it.” |
| “How long do you have to live?” |
| “Just relax, don’t get worked up.” |
| “It will all work out in the end.” |
| “You look well.” |
| “I’m praying for you.” |
What you could say
| “Do you mind me talking about your cancer and how you are feeling?” |
| “I have been thinking of you. Please get in touch when you’re up to it and if you want to.” |
| “Tell me how things are for you today?” |
| “What would you like me to do for you today? Can I do the grocery shopping?” |
| “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you and the cancer treatment or should we talk about other things?” |
| “I really want to help you. What can I do?” |
| “I would like to bring dinner over tomorrow. Is 6pm okay for you?” |
The whole time I was on chemotherapy and radiation therapy, my friend called me every day between 8 and 9am. She could hear if I was well by my voice. There aren’t many friends like that around.
Meg
Podcast: How to Help Someone with Cancer
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