Learn how the removal of a body part after treatment can impact your feelings and relationships, and discover support options.
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Coping with body changes after surgery
If your cancer treatment involved removing a limb, breast or part of your genitals, you may feel grief, loss and anger. These feelings can affect your interest in sex and your sexual confidence.
It takes time to get used to how your body has changed and how that makes you feel. Try to remember that people love you for who you are, not for just how your body looks.
For suggestions on restoring body image, see Changes in appearance. Talking to a psychologist or counsellor may help you adjust to the changes and improve your sex life and relationships.
Using a prostheses
If you had a breast, penis or testicle removed, you may choose to use a prosthesis to improve your self-esteem. This is a personal decision and not something everyone wants. Your doctor can explain your options and what the procedure involves.
If you are worried about how the breast area looks, you may consider nipple tattooing. This can create the colour and shape of a nipple.
Tips for sex and intimacy after the removal of a body part
- Show your partner the changes. If it feels okay, show them how to touch the area in a way that feels good.
- Be patient with yourself. It may take time to feel comfortable about your body again.
- Touch your genitals to work out what feels different and what feels good now. You can also explore other parts of your body that make you feel aroused when touched. This may take some time and practice.
- If you feel worried about how your partner (or a potential partner) may react, remember that talking openly can help. Sharing your feelings and keeping an open mind can help you find new ways to be intimate.
- Ask your partner to stroke different areas of your body if your usual erogenous zones have changed. This may include kissing and touching your neck, ears, inner thighs and genitals.
- Look at yourself in the mirror to get used to the changes to your body.
- If you’ve had one or both breasts removed, see Breast Prostheses and Reconstruction.
- If you’ve had a limb removed, try wearing your limb prosthesis during sex. If you prefer to take off the prosthesis, use pillows to support the affected limb.
- Try a Look Good Feel Better workshop. Call 1800 650 960 or visit lgfb.org.au to book in.
- Talk to a sexual health physician, psychosexual counsellor or sex therapist if your body changes are affecting your sex life or relationship. Visit the Society of Australian Sexologists to find an accredited sex therapist sexologist.
- Call Cancer Council 13 11 20 to talk to someone about your feelings.
→ READ MORE: Sex life with a stoma
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Dr Michael Lowy, Sexual Health Physician, Sydney Men’s Health, NSW; Gregory Bock, Clinical Nurse Consultant – Oncology Coordinator, Urology Cancer Nurse Coordination Service, Cancer Network WA; Anita Brown-Major, Occupational Therapist and Director, Thrive Rehab, VIC; Helena Green, Psychosexual Therapist and Clinical Sexologist, Insync for Life Psychology and Women Centre, WA; Dr Lisa Mackenzie, Clinical Psychologist, HNE Centre for Gynaecological Cancer, Hunter New England Local Health District, NSW; Dr Tonia Mezzini, Sexual Health Physician, East Obstetrics and Gynaecology, SA; Sophie Otto, Prostate Cancer Nurse Consultant – Central Adelaide Local Health Network (CALHN), SA; Giovanna Raco, 13 11 20 Consultant, Cancer Council Victoria; Kath Schubach, Urology Nurse Practitioner, VIC; Emily Stevens, Gynaecology Oncology Clinical Nurse Consultant, Southern Adelaide Local Health Network, Flinders Medical Centre, SA; Anja Vukovic, Clinical Specialist Social Worker, Gynaecological Oncology, Westmead Hospital, NSW; Alan White, Consumer; Kathleen Wilkins, Consumer; Merran Williams, Consumer.
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